an accumulation of everything

I woke this morning in a strange state of fear and dread. Something happened inside me when I heard a friend of mine yesterday, live in real time, talking on the phone with BCBS. It was about being denied and requiring prior authorization for care that they have been receiving for over 10 years, and with the same doctor.

BCBS denies my medication all the time. I’ve simply given up on it. They stopped covering a medication that I’ve been taking for about 10 years. When the doctor switched me over to a supposed equivalent that is covered, and that had unbearable side effects while the other medication worked perfectly, I simply quit taking it. I don’t have much patience for such games.

Something different happened last night though,  hearing that kind of thing happen to someone else. Something changed inside. I know I’m done somehow.

Where to find real help? Real aid? Help that helps without trying to adjust me to a broken, twisted world?

I’m not okay anymore. Finally. Four or five years into this pandemic finally did it. It’s not this one incident, of course. It’s an accumulation of everything I suppose.

Color photo of shadows. Humanoid and bridge shadows. Light and shadow. Bridge structure.

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